A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him question. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, went upon on the foot path and stopped far from a shop window. For a second, everything went quiet in the cab then the driver said, ”look mate, don’t ever do that again, you scared the lights out of me!”. The passenger apologized and said “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much. ”the driver replied, ”sorry, its not really my fault today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the past 25 years.

One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked what happened to his ears. ”Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone . ”well, the boss said ,”that explains one of ear, but what about the other”? They called back”.

Henry goes to confession and says, “bless me father, for I’ve sinned, last night I was with seven different women.”
The priest says, “take seven lemons, sequeeze them all into a glass and drink the juice.”
“Will that cleanse me of my sin?”ask the man.
“No,”replies, the priest, “but it will wipe that smile off your face.

Bob went to his friend, Joe’s house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses. “You really make a big puss of your wife.”Bob said.”I started to appreciate her more about six months ago.”Joe explained. “It has revived our marriage and we couldn’t be happier
Inspired, Bob hurried home, hug his wife, told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tear.
“Sweetheart, “Bob said “what’s the matter”
“This has been the worst day of my life, “she replied. “This morning Billy fell of his bike and hurt his ankle, and then the washing machine broke down. Now, to top it all you come home drunk.

A pastor once told the members of the church and mostly the men to give offerings to God according to their wife’s beauty. Most of the men stood to drop not less than #50,000 but there was a particular man that drop #10,when the pastor asked him why he drop that small amount of money and he replied “pastor if you see my wife you will give me change”

SOLITUDE
A place everybody must go once in a while
A journey embarked on to find inner peace within oneself
When the troubles of this world becomes unbearable
When there is no one to turn to
When everything seems to be going wrong
Loneliness becomes a man’s best friend
But,
It will never lie to you about yourself
It will be there as long as you wish it to be
It will show you
And help you find yourself
And if you search hard enough
It will answer all questions.

LAZINESS
Take a lesson from ants, lazy fellows
Learn from their ways and be wise
For though, they have no kings to make them
Work yet, they labor hard, all summer,
Gather food for the winter
But you, all you do is to sleep
When will you wake up?
Let me sleep a little longer?
Sure, just a little more,
As you sleep, poverty creeps upon you,
Like a rubber and destroys you
Why not wake up now and work hard.

Abdulwahab Jelilat (B.Sc Inview)
IT Staff
Olajide and Associates
www.olajideassociates.com